What is The Bad Scary Place?TM?
BSPTM is an artificially-engineered transgenic tissue sculpture. It is created using a variety of animal and vegetable DNA strands, which is then mapped onto a host chromosome palette. It is considered to be one of a handful of new species created from the basic building material now available to us through recent breakthroughs in modern science.
How does it work?
A detailed explanation on the some of the inner-workings of this amazing new technology can be found on our backwards page.
Is The Bad Scary PlaceTM Alive?
Yes. BSPTM is constituted of living tissue and organs. BSPTM is not, however, a sentient being, in that it does not possess the higher nervous system functions found in mammals, fish and birds.
What does The Bad Scary PlaceTM eat?
Maintaining a healthy, robust BSPTM requires a weekly sub-dermal injection of our patented BSPFoüdTM amino-protein, which acts as the primary source of nourishment for BSPTM. Injections should be administered in the hind quarter, where nutrients are readily absorbed and distributed throughout BSP'sTM internal organ system accordingly. Keeping BSPTM properly hydrated is of utmost importance. We recommend spraying BSPTM down twice daily with a solution of 5 parts distilled water to one part saline.
What are the ideal conditions for BSPTM?
Although BSPTM is a relatively resilient organism, it should not, under any circumstances, be exposed to harsh environmental conditions. We recommend keeping BSPTM in an area with a temperature between 50 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit, with 50-90 percent humidity. BSPTM should be exposed to a reasonable amount of indoor light, but should not be exposed to extended periods of exposure to sunlight. BSPLampTM bulbs and fixtures will be made available to purchase, and will provide the proper amount of UV light that will promote a healthy, thriving BSPTM.
When will BSPTM be available to the public?
After years of research and planning, stage-b prototypes are now being developed. Pending approval from health agencies in the U.S, Canada and Europe, BSPTM is expected to be available to the public in the first quarter of 2005.
How much will BSPTM cost?
First-generation models will be available for pre-order in the coming months. The initial price of 34,000 USD will include shipment within North America, a one year subscription to the BSPCareTM service, and a 6-month supply of BSPFoüdTM. As our harvesting development refines, we expect to see costs to the consumer be reduced significantly. Our marketing analysts foresee the wide distribution in 2007 of a model available for around 5,999 USD.ENTERTAINMENT HAS BECOME A NECESSITY.
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