I just got off a half-hour phone call with a crying mom who contacted our office upon discovering that her 11-year-old daughter has recently been self-injuring. After being given the details of the situation by my coworker Ahriza who answered the call, my instinctual reaction was to say, “I’m not qualified to offer counsel,” and to recommend that the mom contact the licensed counselor we have on staff. However, Ahriza let me know that the mom on the phone hadn’t been able to get a hold of the counselor we have on staff, who is frequently very busy helping a number of people.
So I took the call. And I listened. I asked questions. And I listened. Where appropriate, I offered suggestions. Fortunately, this mom is already addressing the situation almost exactly as we advise parents to do. I encouraged her and let her know she has been approaching this situation correctly, and I applauded her for being proactive, attentive, and non-judgmental.
When we ended the call, she thanked me twice and said, “I was really scared about this and had no idea what to do. You’ve been a really big help and I feel a lot better.”
Meanwhile, she had no idea how big of a help she had been to me. I was recently questioning whether or not I’m in the right line of work. With each situation like this, I’m reminded that I am where I’m supposed to be. And while I’m not a counselor, and certainly not qualified to offer counsel, what I can do is listen. And I can encourage. And I can be empathetic. And I can be present.
And much of the time, that’s exactly what people need.
If you’re struggling with self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or other issues, please call the Lifeline toll-free at (800) 273-8255. You don’t need to fight your battles alone.